Ephemerol - Test 04

Project Number RX510808
Clinical Trials for product designation “Ephemerol”
Subject 04 - Helena REDACTED
Transcript w/ Annotations
Present are Ms. Julia West, President, Mr. James Heller, CEO, and Ms. Bonnibel Butler, Medical Research and Development Student Employee.

*Ms West is speaking to Mr. Heller via video screen*

WEST: You're still in your office? Come on, I wanted to start 20 minutes ago.

HELLER: Yeah, about that, this is all getting a little unconventional for me, Jules. I think I'm gonna leave the rest of the, uh, science stuff to you for now. Wheelhouses, you know? Something about this just seems… I don’t know, kinda lewd.

WEST: Lewd?

HELLER: Ward seemed to think so.

WEST: Hmmmm... You're gonna abandon me down here, Jim?

HELLER: Hey, you know I'm always looking out for you, kid. I went and nabbed one of the interns or whatever they're called to come help you out - daughter of a friend, nicest girl you'll ever meet. Maybe you can teach her a thing or two. 

WEST: What's her name?

HELLER: I can't remember.

WEST: ...seriously?

HELLER: Butler something-or-other. I think it starts with a "b", something alliterative.

WEST: Huh. Butler... Why do I know that name?

*Ms. Butler enters the observation room*

HELLER: Speak of the devil!

BUTLER: Uh, hi, it's nice to meet you, Ms. West. I'm Bonnie Butler. Good morning, Mr. Heller.

HELLER: Bonnie, that's it! Goodness, you are looking a heck of a lot slimmer than you were last time I saw you, did you put on weight?

BUTLER: Mr. Heller...

HELLER: Ah, sorry, I'm just yanking your chain, kid. Hey, have fun today, try not to let West scare you too much. Good luck with your weirdo experiments, Jules, do us proud.

*Mr. Heller disconnects*

WEST: Wait, Butlerrr... ButlerButlerButler... why do I... Butler! You're a Dandridge, offshoot aren't you?!

BUTLER: Oh, uh, yeah, my mom's maiden name was Dandridge. The shipping magnates. You know her family?

WEST: Yeah, yeah, sorta... You, uh, close with them?

BUTLER: Nah, not really. They're pretty weird, I think my mom likes to keep us away from them.

WEST: Good.

BUTLER: Oh, you know what, a few of them did come to see me at the hospital after my accident-

WEST: Accident?

BUTLER: It was nothing, I'm fine now. Let's see, who came... my mom's brother, his name's Howard, and some cousins I'd never met. Oh, man, and this one super-tall lady, she's, like, my mom's aunt or something. Honestly, I don't even know how she's related. A half-sister to somebody, maybe?

WEST: She had this kind of weird, Germanish accent, right?

BUTLER: Yeah! You know her? She seemed nice enough to me but I was kinda loopy on medication the whole time. Apparently she really freaked my sister out, though. Said she was real touchy-feely, kept standing too close to her or something.

WEST: Heh, yeah... Just FYI, probably don't mention that you work here, for me, if you seem them again soon. They, uh, they don't like me very much, especially the tall German. Anyway! Ready to make some science happen?

BUTLER: Oh wow, yeah! What are you working on?

WEST: Oh man, this one's great! It's meant to be a health treatment, nearly instant shedding of excess fat, gonna end obesity! Jim, uh, Mr. Heller and I started on it here yesterday, we're in human trials just now. I’m gonna warn you now, we're testing for unwanted side effects, uh, effect of misuse, so it can get a little... unusual. Just rest assured, whatever you see happen to our subjects, and you're going to see some stuff happen, let me tell you now, they are in no particularly dangerous danger. I fix them all right up, if need be, when we're done.

BUTLER: Side effects? Doesn't that kind of thing take, like, weeks and months to observe?

WEST: Typically, typically... Uh, here, I'll show you, let me bring out the first subject.

*Ms.West speaks into the intercom*

WEST: Go ahead, send them in.

*Subject enters the test chamber*

WEST: Good morning, let's see here... Helena.

BUTLER: She doesn't exactly look like she needs to lose any weight.

WEST: Not at all, but that's the point of this one. Like I said, I need to find out if there are any flaws in the drug and, more importantly, the effects of its misuse. People always fucking misuse my products... The stuff's really potent, like really potent, burns through fat in seconds and keeps going, and I'm concerned about what it might do to an overly-thin person. Hey you, girl.

SUBJECT 03: Who said that?!

WEST: I... what?

SUBJECT 03: Gah! Where are you?! Where are you hiding?!

*Subject frantically searches the test chamber*

WEST: Are... are you serious? I... the glass, the smoked glass.

SUBJECT 03: ...you’re in the... glass?

WEST: Behind it, in another room, you fucking dummy!

SUBJECT 03: Woah. Weiiird...

*Subject examines partition, places hands on glass*

WEST: Oh my god... Stop that! You'll smudge it all up. Just... go stand in the middle of the room. Like that, good.

BUTLER: Good lord, where did you find her?

WEST: Smart people tend not to agree to these sorts of things. Okay, Helena, the substance with which you were dosed before you came in is going to kick in in a second. It’s gonna feel a little weird, but that's fine. Try to hold still and just tell me how you feel, as best you can, while it happens.

SUBJECT 04: I feel kinda... fat.

WEST: Hey, she's actually following instructions. Fat, noted. Okay, Bonnie, this is kind of neat, watch what happens to her and see if you can guess how this all works.

*Subject begins to expand*

BUTLER: Oh... Oh my god, what's... happening to her? What's happening to her?! Is she getting bigger?!

WEST: Mhmm! Well, see the way the drug works, the-

BUTLER: She's inflating!

WEST: Yeah, it’s a bit weird, I know. The fat gets-

BUTLER: I-I can't, I can't! She’s...

*Ms. Butler is hyperventilating *

WEST: Again?! God, not you too. Is there anyone in this town that doesn't have some weird-ass fucking sex prob- Bonnibel Butler! Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck! I knew I knew your name!

BUTLER: I can't!

SUBJECT 04: I feel like a big, fat...

WEST: Crap! The, uh, beach, you're that girl from the beach, aren't you? The thing with the carnival game with the, uh...

SUBJECT 04: ...balloon!

WEST: Yeahhh… that.

BUTLER: I'm sorry!

*Ms. Butler flees the observation room*

WEST: Uaaaghhghahgh. Fucking Hell... Fucking Heller.

*Ms. West exits the observation room*

*Subject reaches maximum pressure*

*Subject begins expelling gas - her body is propelled about the test chamber*

*Subject's body rapidly shrinks as she expels gas*

*Subject lands on floor, retains correct proportions but stands approximately 8 inches*

*Ms. West and Ms. Butler reenter the observation chamber*

WEST: ...believe that thoughtless son-of-a-bitch wouldn't have put two and two together. Actually, I can, of course I can, this is exactly the sort of idiotic thing he would do. You know he didn’t even remember your… nevermind. Look, I'm sorry, if I'd had any idea... ugh, Jim. Jim.

BUTLER: It's… it’s okay, I shouldn't have lost it like that, it's just... seeing it happen again, even to someone else… I...

WEST: Yeah, not a super-great experience, I know. How about, why don't we go see about something else once I finish up here? We've got a really neat organ-farming project set up next-door, we're growing almost an entire person for, uh... reasons. You can hang out in my office or something for now, I’ve got snacks.

BUTLER: No, no, I really... It's been over a year now, I need to not have it be a thing for me, you know? Bonnie the Balloon...

WEST: Yeesh, You're sure?

BUTLER: I'm sure.

WEST: Uh… Awesome! Yeah! Good for you! I'm not super-good with emotions, you know, consoling, empathy, I’m a little walled-off I guess, but, uh, what better way to face your demons than head on, right?

BUTLER: I guess?

WEST: Ha, yeah… I like you, Bonnie. You don’t strike me as a fucking nut like every other person I'm forced to deal with. We're going to have... oh my god, where the hell did she go?

BUTLER: What?

WEST: The idiot girl, the test subject.

BUTLER: She's... oh god, she popped, didn't she?! After we left she just kept blowing up and then she popped!

WEST: Hmm. Nnnno, no, we'd have felt it out in the hall. She's just... oh wow. Wow. That's a new one.

BUTLER: ...w-what happened?

WEST: Okay, this is weird, but seriously, come here and see for yourself. Oh man, this is too cute.

*Subject is repeatedly attempting to jump up to the partition, voice has increased in pitch significantly*

SUBJECT 03: How did the room get so big? And why don't my panties fit me anymore?

BUTLER: Oh my god... Is that even possible?

SUBJECT 03: I don’t feel fat anymore, though!

WEST: Shouldn’t be. I wonder how her systems are working now, scaled down as such. Man, this one’s gonna be fun to-

BUTLER: ...is she stuck like that?

WEST: Hmm. Uh... no? I mean, I've been able to fix the other ones, one way or another. Like I said, I'm pretty good at this. I'm sure I can sort out a way to, uh, re-bigulate her. Totally. Annnd if I can't, you can take her home and keep her in a terrarium, make her fight spiders, how's that?